“There shall be no decorum, instead pandemonium will be the order of the day and on this podium shall I stand and watch both teams run helter-skelter in this stadium of violence where I have not taken sides with no one but remain a spectator of the escalating Armageddon”.

I found the above quote very intriguing when I accidentally stumbled on it on the untarred streets of Twitter. As trendy as it might sound, there are undertones to which must be properly taken note of in reality.

Violence as defined by the Oxford dictionary means “behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something”. Have you wondered why it is common for people not to be separated when fighting? Some people just love the sight. This is fast translating into the social media world. You would rather be left alone muddling in the ground than being helped back to your feet. It is becoming a sad reality.

Taking violence as a literal word and away from the social media context, navigating through life and issues that comes with it gets a lot worse when violence is introduced. The moment you begin to hurt someone with physical force with the intent to cause damage, you take your humanity to the cleaners. The moment some people take up arms and start killing people at random, they become enemies of the state. Such areas can be declared to be in a “state of emergency”. The economy of that place would be grounded. Before things get back to normal, lives would not remain the same again.

However, we have failed to look beyond the surface in addressing scenarios like this. Approaching this with a cursory view to dive in-depth, the background has a major part to play. Despite the under-reported cases of divorce in Nigeria, a lot of parents have gone their separate ways without making it official. A major ground being cited is “Domestic Violence”. That is just like a precursor to the point I am about to make.

As the first point of socialization, children learn from their parents in words and actions. It is not impossible that the children were present on the battlefield taking notes. We see those children turn out as adults today and may believe that is the best approach. Many people are still caught in this web, passing it on to their wards unintentionally thereby making topics like this never die out.

It is also common to have young people get abused violently while growing up. Fits of rage often find expression as long-lasting scars on the subject matter. Continuous exposure to such forms up a violence based mentality towards handling situations.

Some people show their abusive tendencies before marriage, while others manifest it while in marriage. Domestic violence is a game-changer. It is the start of an irreversible process that can only get worse. If it is ever done once, there is a 98% chance that it is going to happen again. Soon enough, it becomes a norm and everything rolls downhill as a see-saw.

As said earlier, the zeal to see the damage done is getting very rife in today’s environment. Therefore, it takes a very conscious effort to manifest in maturity and anger management. In every facet, young people should see anger management and conflict resolution as part of self-development. We should be keen on rewriting the wrongs of the past and changing the status quo. Irrespective of background, personal experience or social trends, violence is never the way out. When this is sorted, it is translated into the family. We would get to see fewer cases of violence in the home.

Don’t be too happy seeing the damage that goes on elsewhere. It is commonly said that we most of the times internalize what we see most times and also act in the same way unconsciously.

Protect your sanity and humanity by building yourself. You are not a weakling for not choosing violence. It is a position of strength and emotional balance.

No to any type of Violence.

Chief Medical Consultant,

Aboyunje Clinic.



I write as led!

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