“THE ANSWER IS NO”
Fundamentally, we all want to win. We all have our dreams and aspirations for which cause we would work tooth and nail to achieve. However, it is very important to note that since we need people to support our goals, we also need to support the goals of other people. To put it in a better form, we achieve our own goals by being an active part of someone else’s goal. In this life, we are all working for somebody. Whether unemployed, self-employed, single, married, casual worker, contractor, billionaire, name it. The world is a big collage and the total picture we paint for ourselves is an element needed for another party, to begin with.
Despite the aforementioned facts, the human ecosystem does not give room for total automation. There is a space for reciprocity which comes once in like 10 scenarios. In cases where there is mutual involvement to co-opt in a space, it is all well and good. However, what if we are not given the chance?
In the race to achieve what we have in mind, we encounter obstacles and face hard choices. Simple things transverse into complex situations. Sometimes, we are the recipients of these hard choices. The context of career, relationships, friendships, family further illuminates this concept. There are quarters we want to associate with. Standards we look up to and aim at. People we think necessary to have in our corner. The outcome is not entirely up to us, which begets the following questions.
What happens when we fall on the wrong side of our desires? What happens when we think of ourselves as a piece to other peoples jigsaw and they don’t share the same energy? Does it mean we are not good enough or our paths don’t just align?
As a human, you want to be acknowledged and accepted in whatever cliché you decide to be a part of. This inherent desire for acceptance leaves us flat-footed when it doesn’t go as planned. Rejection on the other hand is not a sweet feeling to grapple with. It sends cold shivers down your spine especially if it is something you have anticipated for a while. It mimics efforts turned down in the drain without remorse. At the moment, you might feel worthless and incompetent until you are jolted back into reality. It sometimes mirrors incompetence or attributes a “weed-like” persona to our perception. Trying to move on quickly is possible if there is nothing that can be done about it.
Knowing how to handle rejection is a very vital skill we all need to learn. Emotionally, there is a vast number of people that do not know how to handle rejection. This pushes them to do a lot of funny things and act irrationally as a response. If indeed we believe in respecting contrary opinions and other peoples’ rights, it should not be a very big issue. (This write up is assumes that No Means No and it isn’t a sign to press harder until the No becomes Yes).
There are key proposals under listed on handling rejections.
Be very logical: Putting logic first can prevent the negative aftermath of rejection especially from people. Having it at the back of our minds that we cannot control much in how other people perceive us is enough respite.
Be open to both responses: We fail to take into account the possible steps if our plan falls through. In being realistic, it involves getting prepared for either of the response and acting in good faith afterwards
Harnessing the rejection energy: If it is an application rejection, you can ask for valid reasons and look towards working on them. That way, you eliminate that point of failure from getting reiterated in the next event. Also, if you were rejected in a relationship based on some lacking conditions, make conscious efforts to improve (as far as they make you a better person and not just fabricated excuses).
Stay away from hate: Do not hate people chosen over you in any space. Hate is a foundation for irrationality. It is also a bedrock for violence. Learn to accept things in good faith and take life for what it truly is. We might not all have it sweet, however, the disadvantage of one is the rise of another.
Nothing is ‘’do or die’’: Alternatives would always exist. You are the best fit for someone/something else. In the grand scheme of things, we are rejected in some places to be accepted in other quarters.
In all, life is like a swing that can tilt in either direction. How you respond is all that matters.
Till I refresh your thoughts again,